“Money doesn’t grow on trees” and other weird things we tell our kids

I think I can safely say that most kids love to spend money. There’s no way my kids are the only ones that beg to go to Target because it means coming home with a trunk full of stuff, even if those things are as boring as light bulbs and toilet paper. They know that every now and then they will get lucky enough to leave with something fun and exciting for themselves and that makes every trip worthwhile.

I know there are other parents out there that can commiserate. The begging to add that can’t-live-without item to the shopping cart, the whining for whatever the last stuffed animal was that they spotted in the toy section, or putting their best negotiating skills to work to convince you that there’s a perfectly good reason why they need more slime – we’ve all been there!

Sometimes (most of the time) we have to put our foot down and just say no. And sometimes, the first thing that comes to mind is something clever or catchy that we’ve heard over and over again. These expressions are memorable for a reason and they have inherent truth to them. But to a child, they can create more questions than answers.

“Money doesn’t grow on trees”

This one’s my favorite, especially today when literal money, i.e., cold hard cash, is so rarely used. It’s pretty clear what this saying means: money is finite and not something you can go out and harvest more of if you’re running low. Or is it? As a young child, whenever I heard this expression, my first thought was always, “well, where DOES money come from?” How are kids expected to understand money if they never see it and they don’t know where it comes from? If we only talk to them about not spending, we will forget to talk to them about earning and how to actually make money grow (kind of like a tree!)

“A Penny Saved is a Penny Earned”

This is a good one, in theory. Technically, this phrase means that saving money is as good as earning money. It’s meant to emphasize the importance of saving, which is a great lesson to teach young people. However, this still leaves out that key variable in the personal finance equation mentioned above, which is spending. If we ignore the concept of spending and tell our kids to save everything they earn, how will they develop responsible spending habits alongside those responsible savings habits?

“You get what you pay for”

This is another phrase that’s thrown around in many different circumstances. Whether you’re justifying a splurge on a top-of-the line brand or dealing with the aftermath of picking the lowest-priced contractor on Angie’s List, we’ve all been on both sides of this expression. But trying to explain to kids, especially young kids, about expectations vs. reality is easier said than done. In fact, this is something that I truly believe kids have to experience first-hand in order to truly grasp the meaning of this phrase. In other words, if your kids want to spend their hard-earned money on something that you know will break the second they get it home, let them learn that lesson! Sometimes we try to shield our kids from the hardships we have already experienced, but it’s far better for them to make those mistakes now when the consequences are minor than when they are older and the stakes are much higher.

What’s the takeaway?

Kids need more than just the highlight reel. If you don’t clarify concepts around money for them now, things only get more complicated as they get older. These old sayings are clever and useful. They wouldn’t have lasted as long as they have if they weren’t. But if you catch yourself saying any of these to your kids, take the time to explain the “why.” Adding just a little bit of context can be the difference between hearing you and actually understanding you.